Life is Messy

Life is messy. It is the reality of life that alot of people rather not admit. It is full of spills, accidents and getting lost. It is also full of miracles, joy and laughter at unexpected moments. An artist's life is messy by nature. We are free thinkers, destroyers and builders. And unfortunately, many artists are appreciated more by the works they left behind than the life they led.
Now that I am getting back to my creative nature I want to be able paint and build from my heart even at the risk of not being understood. I am very guarded and well practiced at keeping the wall in place whether it is good for me or not. This will be a big leap of faith for me. Painting pretty pictures seems easy in my mind but when I open the door to the ideas and influences I will bet it will spill out like an overpacked closet of forgotten joys, terrors and misplaced treasures at my feet. The art is finding beauty in the midst of chaos.

Letting Go and Moving On

           Today, I had a call from a man asking if I still did picture framing and today, I got to say “No” and what a pleasure it was. I have been a picture framer as an occupation for 20 years. I have worked for other people, had my own business and I am a very good picture framer. But at some point it wasn’t enough anymore.

            A few years ago I found myself making statements such as “I can picture frame in my in sleep” until the day came it occurred to me I didn’t want to be doing anything so unconscious especially something I loved doing at one time. The passion was gone and it was time to move on to something else but that is never easy. I had made an investment after all; equipment, inventory, and people. It has been a couple years of letting go. I would take on projects here and there but not enough to keep a business a float but it kept things alive in the worst way. I also wasn’t willing to put my family second and I certainly wasn’t being true to myself. I pretty much was treading water and I was getting very tired.

            I had gotten into picture framing originally so I could afford to frame my own art but the problem was by the end I wasn’t doing any art at all. It was lost and I was almost disconnected from it. It is amazing to me when you think you are doing everything for the right reasons that you can so easily forget the one thing that makes you heart beat faster, what makes you feel alive. For me that thing is creating art that make people think, laugh, stop and be still for a moment. I am still peeling off the layers of mat board and picture frames but I am closer to finding my way to the surface.

            And when I get there I can step to edge and jump into my next adventure where my heart beats faster. Until then I least I get the pleasure of saying thank you, but no.

Starting another year.

Every year I have reorganized, cleaned out the closets and set myself up for the potential of a new year. 2010 was an entire year of letting go; refocusing my priorities, and setting my sites on new opportunities but in most years including 2010 the clearing has been mainly on a material level. In 2011, I will continue cleaning out the closets but I am also going to be clearing out old habits, ways of thinking and speaking, and my perspective of my life. All of which is to clear the pathways back to my art and allowing it to have a bigger voice.

            One of my points of focus is “to say what I mean without apology”. It is not meant for me to rant with random abandon and not care who is listening but to be very clear, open and honest with my words.

Words, images and thoughts have great power and the greatest power in our own minds. What I tell myself is just as important if not more so as what I tell others. So in order change my perspective I need to change my words; I no longer have chores but get to take care of my home, I don’t have to make dinner but I get to feed my family, and having a rich life is about appreciation. Being rich whether with money, experience, property, friends, whatever it is you value requires you to be responsible, care for it or risk losing it.

Saying what I mean is very important. There is only one of me so I need to take care of myself first then I can be there for others and be my best. I also think that is different for everyone. I personally wouldn’t enjoy a day at the spa and shopping but for others that would be a wonderful opportunity. Knowing what I need to be well and standing up for myself is a priority. That will mean I will have to say clearly what I will and will not do and not apologize for investing in what I find important.

Blogging is another process I am going to use this year. Like the saying goes, “if a tree falls in the woods does it make a sound”. I can write my ideas and keep them to myself but if I want to have an impact I will have to take the risk and put them out where they can be heard.

So hear it goes….

To be resolute...

 I will find more joy, be compassionate, be able to stand my ground in the face of adversity, know when to go with the flow and enjoy the ride, create with abandon with art, music and words, say what I mean without apology and be ready to lend a hand at a moments notice and most important, remember how lucky I am.