Hit the ground running...

I didn't realize it had been so long since my last post. This summer was busier than expected and not necessarily with art but that has changed. Now that the kids are back in school it is time to focus back on painting.

My only show this year will be in Perry, IA at Art on the Prairie. I am not only an artist but one of the coordinators. It take an enormous amount of time and effort to put together a festival and more importantly, a great team of people. The Art on the Prairie team is such a supportive group of people and what really makes this festival so outstanding besides that talented artists and musicians. Art on the Prairie is Nov. 12th and Nov. 13th http://www.artontheprairie.org/ for more details.

Thank you to my daughter...

Dear Ila,

Thank you.

Tomorrow morning you and I are going to run our first 5k together. I have never liked the idea of running but I love the idea of running with you. You are my joy. You inspire me to work harder, play harder, laugh harder and be better all the time.

I will do my best and we will have a great time. It is a gift to rise to the occasion and be apart of something you love to do.

Someday when you are ready you will open up to the world and hopefully the world will be paying attention because they will hate to miss all that you are. You are a treasure. But until you are ready the world will have to be patient and I will be at your side running as long as you'll have me.

All my love,

Mama

A Time for Celebrating…

In the past few weeks, I have had much to celebrate; life, love and creating more life, otherwise known as a birthday, anniversary and Mother’s Day. Now that I can sit and reflect on it all, it was like reaching a destination and getting a clear view of the horizon for the next journey all at the same time. SO this is my last look back before move forward leaving all the unnecessary baggage behind.

The Birthday…

I have just turned 40 and I am so happy to get here. For most of my life I didn’t think I would get here at all and to be honest I spent many years running to the edge of cliff not quite having the inspiration to jump but just enough drive to see how close I could get. There are a few, ok maybe more than a few, nail biting, cliff hangers in my life. Some may be considered courageous and spontaneous, others just plain stupid. In any case, every moment good, bad, painful, joyful got me to where I am today. And I really like who I am right now.

I was very broken. I worked very hard at keeping people out because the core of me was so wounded I didn’t want to risk anyone else doing more damage. Even writing that last sentence caused me to catch my breath because I have cracked the door open to let you all in. Admitting I am not solid to the center, not an easy task especially after 40 years of fortress building. But now I am working on clearing the walls, lightening it all up.

Nothing like a fresh coat of paint, throwing the windows open and airing everything out -works physically, mentally and spiritually. Here is what I know about me that I am keeping for the next part of my journey; creating art and building things that have function, purpose or inspire rocks me to my core, music is essential to my peace of mind, I love hula hoops, mediation, archery, nature, walking, great conversations, good food, bass guitar and knitting. My husband and children are inspiring to me. Gratitude is the best attitude. And finally, I am responsible for me first, will help when and where I can, and enjoy the ride the rest of the time.

The Anniversary…

My husband and I have been married 15 years. We didn’t take a honeymoon or have been extravagant in our marriage, more practical than not. There has always been room for the new guitar or painting, whatever interest we have at the time. We have disagreed but never have been mean spirited. When one of us has had the need to be a bit of a mess because of whatever the circumstance, the other has stepped it up and hung in for journey. There is also, after 15 years, a knowing that has settled in. It isn’t about what love and marriage is to anyone else, about expectations, or how well we are doing but knowing when to fully be there, when to lend a hand and to be close, and not to let the daily of life get you down. Most importantly, it is a rare occasion that we ever part without a kiss. (It’s my favorite part.)

Mother’s Day…

Oh the children! I just LOVE my kids. There was a short time during the toddler years that there was a touch of doubt. But with hindsight we have found laughter in the storytelling.

The best thing about being a mother is I now know there is no limit in my capacity to love. If I can be the best guide and mentor to them as they learn and grow, they will have the wings and courage to soar on their own. But part of being that guide is not just telling them how to live but to be a living example. It is far easier to achieve happiness when you know what it looks like.

The next part of the journey, well, it’s crossing the canvas…

The Delivery and the Hanging

In the past two days I delivered two pieces of my work to be on exhibit. One will be on display in a new gallery Art by Magic in West Glen in West Des Moines and one hangs in the lobby of the Hotel Pattee in Perry. I have always loved seeing my art in an enviroment on its own. When it is all together, what is a summation of my work feels more like too many of my thoughts in a small space like a crowded elevator, claustrophobic. Not a thought I would normally share but this is blog, a little public purging is allowed.

In any case, seeing these two pieces out on their own was a great reminder of why I love to paint, build, coordinate, and whatever creative undertaking I get a hold of in life. It is about letting it go.

Finding time for the blog...

How time flies! I was so hoping I would be more dedicated at this blogging thing but once again my busy life has taken off like a runaway train, slow to start but out of control once it has momentum. Learning to pace myself has been one of the hardest things for me to be consistent in doing. Once again, I just have to throw on the brakes, catch my breath and restart. I keep getting better at it but still a sick kid and a snow day can set things off running again.

The other part of blogging that I am learning is deciding how much I want to say and to be able to say it well. I don’t want this to be open venting session and just because I have opinions doesn’t mean I should just share all of them because the mood strikes me. Being thoughtful with my words is as important to me as being thoughtful with my art.

So what have I been doing… cleaning and purging. The studio is a mess but things are coming to together in the rest of the house. The hardest part is everything has potential to be art in my mind but I don’t have room in the house for it all. I will watch an episode of Hoarders on occasion to give myself a mental push forward and loosen the “I might need someday” hold on the stuff. It works for me. I am giving myself through February to get the rest organized but then it will be time to get busy on new art. Wish me luck.

Life is Messy

Life is messy. It is the reality of life that alot of people rather not admit. It is full of spills, accidents and getting lost. It is also full of miracles, joy and laughter at unexpected moments. An artist's life is messy by nature. We are free thinkers, destroyers and builders. And unfortunately, many artists are appreciated more by the works they left behind than the life they led.
Now that I am getting back to my creative nature I want to be able paint and build from my heart even at the risk of not being understood. I am very guarded and well practiced at keeping the wall in place whether it is good for me or not. This will be a big leap of faith for me. Painting pretty pictures seems easy in my mind but when I open the door to the ideas and influences I will bet it will spill out like an overpacked closet of forgotten joys, terrors and misplaced treasures at my feet. The art is finding beauty in the midst of chaos.

Letting Go and Moving On

           Today, I had a call from a man asking if I still did picture framing and today, I got to say “No” and what a pleasure it was. I have been a picture framer as an occupation for 20 years. I have worked for other people, had my own business and I am a very good picture framer. But at some point it wasn’t enough anymore.

            A few years ago I found myself making statements such as “I can picture frame in my in sleep” until the day came it occurred to me I didn’t want to be doing anything so unconscious especially something I loved doing at one time. The passion was gone and it was time to move on to something else but that is never easy. I had made an investment after all; equipment, inventory, and people. It has been a couple years of letting go. I would take on projects here and there but not enough to keep a business a float but it kept things alive in the worst way. I also wasn’t willing to put my family second and I certainly wasn’t being true to myself. I pretty much was treading water and I was getting very tired.

            I had gotten into picture framing originally so I could afford to frame my own art but the problem was by the end I wasn’t doing any art at all. It was lost and I was almost disconnected from it. It is amazing to me when you think you are doing everything for the right reasons that you can so easily forget the one thing that makes you heart beat faster, what makes you feel alive. For me that thing is creating art that make people think, laugh, stop and be still for a moment. I am still peeling off the layers of mat board and picture frames but I am closer to finding my way to the surface.

            And when I get there I can step to edge and jump into my next adventure where my heart beats faster. Until then I least I get the pleasure of saying thank you, but no.

Starting another year.

Every year I have reorganized, cleaned out the closets and set myself up for the potential of a new year. 2010 was an entire year of letting go; refocusing my priorities, and setting my sites on new opportunities but in most years including 2010 the clearing has been mainly on a material level. In 2011, I will continue cleaning out the closets but I am also going to be clearing out old habits, ways of thinking and speaking, and my perspective of my life. All of which is to clear the pathways back to my art and allowing it to have a bigger voice.

            One of my points of focus is “to say what I mean without apology”. It is not meant for me to rant with random abandon and not care who is listening but to be very clear, open and honest with my words.

Words, images and thoughts have great power and the greatest power in our own minds. What I tell myself is just as important if not more so as what I tell others. So in order change my perspective I need to change my words; I no longer have chores but get to take care of my home, I don’t have to make dinner but I get to feed my family, and having a rich life is about appreciation. Being rich whether with money, experience, property, friends, whatever it is you value requires you to be responsible, care for it or risk losing it.

Saying what I mean is very important. There is only one of me so I need to take care of myself first then I can be there for others and be my best. I also think that is different for everyone. I personally wouldn’t enjoy a day at the spa and shopping but for others that would be a wonderful opportunity. Knowing what I need to be well and standing up for myself is a priority. That will mean I will have to say clearly what I will and will not do and not apologize for investing in what I find important.

Blogging is another process I am going to use this year. Like the saying goes, “if a tree falls in the woods does it make a sound”. I can write my ideas and keep them to myself but if I want to have an impact I will have to take the risk and put them out where they can be heard.

So hear it goes….

To be resolute...

 I will find more joy, be compassionate, be able to stand my ground in the face of adversity, know when to go with the flow and enjoy the ride, create with abandon with art, music and words, say what I mean without apology and be ready to lend a hand at a moments notice and most important, remember how lucky I am.